Randomness!

Neeners wrote:Congrats eventpony!

I'm on a Ketosis diet and all I'm allowed to eat is meat, eggs, mushrooms, cheese, mayonnaise, broccoli and a few other things.

I'm only allowed water, diet coke and vodka, soda water and lime.

And if you have a craving, you can have the highest percentage of cocoa chocolate, even then with that, you're not really allowed to eat a whole bar in a day, but a piece or 2 is fine.

I've been on it for 3 days, and already feeling better. I don't know what I weigh, but I'm just gonna go on dropping dress sizes.

It takes 2 weeks to get into ketosis, then you do a 5 days keto, and then on the weekend, you're allowed to have a carb day, and so on and so forth. My brothers had a carb weekend every 2 weeks, so I think I'll do that.

I still have to do exercise on top of it all, so the stables help with that, and I have a cross trainer. And I'll be getting Luca back soon, so that I can start riding him again

That sounds really interesting - you'll have to let me know how you get on!! I'm determined to lose a bit of weight/tone up.. I started really well a couple of weeks ago and was eating healthy, running every other day and doing 8 minute abs daily, but after a couple of big nights out I had the mother of all hangovers for two days, and had a pizza binge one day, and went to the pub with the girls for a bacon and brie baguette with chips the next day... which was incredible haha but definitely put me back to my starting point!! So after this weekend I'm going to make myself healthy again! I just need to plan my meals I think and then I'll be ok.. It's when I have nothing in the fridge so pop to the corner shop opposite for a pizza

Winterpeg Manisnowba...

I'm ready for spring!

First day of Autumn here today! My favourite season!

I haven't been on in a little bit but I thought I'd just put in a bit.

I'm still busy, working hard on my physical fitness and my mathematics. Today I did my first PFT and did alright.

I'm riding two horses currently, so no longer riding 4-5 a day lol.

One is of course Sporty who was VERY naughty today. He bucked hard enough that he kicked the wall and it shook and quite spooky at both ends of the arena until I was like okay, come on you're not this spooky. Knock it off and focus and he was still quick and not quite as threw in his back as I would have liked (if I could have been that much stronger in the half halt to regulate his rhythm I would have had it better, I think) but he was very submissive in the bridle and laterally submissive. He's been really good lately but today he had something in him that was not quite what I was used to but I rode and handled it well. He kind of leapt a bit and tried to get a series of bucks in till' I pulled his head up and was like knock it off @ss hole! So I don't know what got into him. None of it seemed malicious to me, more like wee let's have Sporty's idea of fun!! A lady was in the arena with me as I was riding threw this and I was apologizing, saying he's really not usually like this. And she said to me after I rode him, you know I hope to be as good as you with handling that stuff and I'm like well I really hope you never have to have the opportunities to ride this like I have. You'll be happier for it.

Then the other one is a little arabian who is out of shape and learning to accept the bridle. He's been forced on the bit and so he doesn't really connect to it or use his back properly but as he's getting stronger this is getting much better. I mostly ride him on a string that's tied around his neck because his mouth is so sensitive that if I don't use it very carefully he'll stick his tongue out. But I use the string for half halting, navigating shoulders, and variety of other things. It's a very useful tool. But he was quite good the last time I rode him, he was getting quite a lot of spring and swing in his back and stride, it felt quite good.

Sitting at a dog trial freezing my butt off... At least it's suppose to be warmer today than it was yesterday!

Huge photo upload to come Took some pics of pony and I today.

Made it back from the dog trial early enough to hit up one of the bars and listen to some amazing acoustic music from some of my favorites! Best way to end the weekend for sure!

Man, this Criminal Investigations test is going to suck today and already started the Traffic Stops chapter, ugh.

12 hour shifts at work are brutal already and foaling season is only just getting started :/

Ohhhh my god you guys! My uncle just called me and his girlfriend has only gone and got me a three week internship in ROME with one of the top law firms in the world..!!! I am absolutely terrified, I've never travelled abroad on my own before, but to a city I've never been to where I don't speak the language and living by myself is so scary to think about! But I've always wanted to go to Rome and it will be the most amazing experience.. Plus Italian men aren't bad hahah!!

Introduced Bubba to my good friend the curry comb today. He was not impressed.

Lancer was a superstar as usual!

Tor, you'll love Rome! I know I did. As long as you attempt the language, everyone is nice

On another note, opps I'm in Hawaii y'all!

Just exhausted and feel quite I don't know. Upset? Frustrated? Lost? Defeated? Hurt? Remorse? Discouraged?

I don't know. I'm frustrated waiting my turn for a chance. Upset and lost because I don't know what's going on. Defeated because I'm internalizing this to such a foolish degree. Remorse for actions I've taken, that I don't know if they were wrong or right. And discouraged that I made a mistake. Oh well. I'll get over it but in the meantime I need to sleep and be certain I get all of my homework done.

Busiest spring break ever. Super duper crazy. It had it's fun moments though! But, sadly, back to the class grind today...

I'm kind of in a tough spot right now. I don't enjoy riding anymore :/ I just don't what to ride. I rode Sporty today and admittedly Sporty is VERY hard to ride but usually I enjoy riding him because I love him and his quirkiness that makes him so unique. And I love Sporty, he's hilarious and dorky and sweet in his own very special way. I know no other horse who has ever made me feel like I'm special to him.

But I just don't want to ride anymore. I don't even really want to be around horses that much. I don't mind working with them at my first job but I really think I'm ready for a change. I'm just tired of it...does that make a bad person? I don't know.

Cassandra, maybe you need to change up your riding a bit? I don't know what your rides consist of, or if you ride at different barns, but I know that I get the same way when I've been doing the same thing for too long with horses. I got burned out with dressage lessons because I didn't seem to be making progress, just trying to get the same concepts over and over, then I started taking lessons with a different instructor at the same time and learning basic jumping concepts and I'm much more enthusiastic about dressage now (not to mention I think the jumping lessons helped me get some of the stuff I was getting stuck on in dressage).

It seems (just from your posts and such, I don't want to assume) that you are very tough on yourself - you are very good at analyzing what you need to fix and you can point out all the things you are working on and improving. Maybe you need to just have some rides where you can relax and not worry about that stuff? Trail rides, or something of that sort?

Maybe you're already doing something like this, but that's just what I feel like happens to me sometimes.

I appreciate the thought and consideration but it's more that I have SO much on my plate and am living kind of intensely atm. And I'm just not in the zone or game to ride really effectively, which I have to be to ride Sporty. Sporty takes EVERYTHING I have to ride him well, EVERYTHING and when I'm not giving 110% I can't do much with him because he'll leap all over the place and do the other stuff he does. He's a unique horse.

It could be also that I'm ALWAYS retraining, rehabbing, bringing something along, and/or riding something REALLY tough. Once in a while I'll get to ride something and school 2nd-3rd level but that's not very often. And I love Sporty, I really love that horse. If I'm upset, he's the only horse I'll go out of my way to make time for just to spend time with him and groom him because he goes out of his way to make me feel better. I've never met another horse that really makes his person feel special. I may not be special to anybody else but to that horse I am. He knows when I miss a day (he gets a little mad at me) but he's so happy when I just spend time with him. He's a special horse.

But I have a lot on my plate, I'm experiencing a lot of stress and pressure and in general have a lot of big things in the works for me and it's hard to enjoy riding when you are totally exhausted, that's emotionally, physically, spiritually, and mentally.

But you are right I am VERY hard on myself but I need to be to become who I want to be.

But I really appreciate you taking the time to respond to what I said, I really do. I never expect anyone to extend their hand to me when I'm in a hard place but it's nice when someone does

Cass, I understand your emotions. I have days like that too. But it seems you feel this way all the time, which i hate for you Perhaps you'd be more able to relax and enjoy riding if you were not always training the horses you ride, you were able to ride an old school horse who manages himself a little bit, and just lets you relax and regain what you need. I train moon every time we ride, but when i'm stressed, we just go, don't worry about how long i'll be gone, just turn and go.

Before you read I really am very appreciative for you guys responding to me, I'm just explaining the circumstances. I don't need to "feel" better per say, that comes and goes. Emotions are constantly changing but direction is constant.

No I mean I'm in training to become a United States Marine. I mean I am living very intensely. I work 2 jobs, plus I'm a student and believe me physical fitness to be the sort of fit I need to be is a FULL time job. I am spending probably 1 1/2-2hrs a day in intense workout mode. 3-4 times a week I run about 3.5 miles, plus a series of different cardio work outs including jump rope, jumping jacks, squat leaps, planks, push ups, steps, weight pull and rope, etc. It's intense and I go 7 days a week, I have no days off and will not have days off. Though I have workout days off.

I am always under stress and pressure but I do not always feel stressed or pressured, the more I have on my plate, the better I learn to cope with it.

So mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually I'm stretched out. I cry at least once a week from frustration, exhaustion, defeat, etc, I'm in some kind of pain most days but I get up and keep going because it makes me happier and feel more accomplished, every time I do. And it hurts so much because I want it so much and I'm doing exactly what I want to do and giving 110% to do it. At this moment I can't take on more than what I already do. I'm actually in the process of dropping the amount I have on my plate atm. So my budget is going to be pretty tight. I'm also looking at about 6-7 months of training in the Marine Corps, so that's boot camp, MCT, and MOS. So I'm looking at a 6-7 month delay in my schooling but becoming a Marine is number 1 for me; I want my anchor.

And I do not enjoy riding unless I'm constructively working on something and having a horse that is through, light, together and building towards collection and higher level exercises and movements. Having an unbalanced, unconnected and through horse is horribly uncomfortable to me because I feel every leg, every rib, every shoulder and hip and neck. And when you're that aware and feel the whole horse in your hands, shoulders, core, and body, and they're unbalanced it feels like you threw a backpack over one shoulder and are expected to run uphill like that. I flat out don't enjoy it. Once in a while I'll take Sport on a ride around the property which he enjoys. And I'm quite relaxed on him, even when he's spooking or leaping and trying to get a series of bucks in before I pull his head up so he can't, or throwing his weight around because I couldn't ride him effectively and keep him from letting it all out if I was not relaxed and tactfully telling him hey here is where I need you to be, no here, focus, here, here, here and being there every step of the way with him but without being a nag or bossing him around (which he hates), it's more of this is a suggestion and there are not other options that will be comfortable for you, so he then decides okay this is easier. I'll be good. And when he's really up or feeling looky I'll try to use it to my advantage to make him sit more, steeper in laterals or try to get more expression. It doesn't always work out like that, Sporty has his own mind and he's the first horse to show me, even if you are telling them exactly doesn't mean they can't do whatever they want to and that is part of what makes him so hard. He loves me and I him, which is why we do as well as we do together.

And I've had a lot of other horses available to me to ride, there was about a month or 2 where I was riding 5 a day and then another month or two of riding 3-4 a day and then now it's down to 1-2 a day (which is good). And when I say a day, I mean about 3-4 times a week.

I think you need like more fun time Cassandra! It's great to be driven and work towards you want to do, and I do need to be more like that, but at the same time, you only live once and have to enjoy the here and now, not just what you're working towards! It sounds like you're just always schooling when you ride? Just don't school much for a bit, go out on a hack for a few hours, get onto some gallops and just go!

Or, and I know it's not a sensible thing to do at all but it's how I de-stress (got a ridiculous amount of work on and planning at the moment) - just go out out with some friends, get drunk and have a laugh! I'm horrifically hungover at the moment but I feel more calm/focussed with what I'm doing now and cracking on with this impossible essay!

I hate the house I'm living in at the moment as well which really isn't helping, but at least it's taught me never to live with boys!

I'm with Tor, Cassandra, you've got to relax and loosen up a little! Getting a little drunk might not be a bad idea!


On another note. I'm also writing 2 horribly impossible essays at the same time. Screw this! *drinks*

Great rides on lancer all week! Jumped him around a little course for the first time in months and he was perfect! Even surprised me with perfect changes without me asking! Love that boy <3

Two day trip to pick up a dead horse for work...awesome.

You know sometimes it's so refreshing to be released from the hooks of desire and to once again have focus.

To be able to focus on reality and now, over dreams and fantasy is truly a gift. Chasing fantasies results in pain and a lust for the dream world, focusing on reality brings joy in living.

Reality should always be better than fantasy.

Holy shit, I've not been able to log in for ages!

For some odd reason, my password wasn't correct, and then when trying to reset my password, my e-mail address wasn't correct.

I've been trying every day since, and today it finally works?

I need to sort out some mods, so give me a shout!